I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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