we're blogging at a bar
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
