Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
