STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
