are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They took my balls.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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