a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
