So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
