So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize