i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
