dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
