You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
