Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
