So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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