We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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