I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
