Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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