It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
