before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
