At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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