who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
