I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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