I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
