i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
