Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
