And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
