alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
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I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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