i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
