last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
