I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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