i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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