I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
