I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
