i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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