We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Pooping to opera.
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