i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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