I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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