there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
