We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
