the new term for farting is butt boxing.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
