You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
