Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
