Sponge bath it is.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
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Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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