thus making me awesome and them whores
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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