Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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