My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
