You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
