Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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