You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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