So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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