I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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