is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
