I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
