I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
