we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
