On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
