Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
